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| A person who does not wish to be named (we will call her... ahem... or him? 
MOE) got into a tough situation. You see, Moe- and we will refer to Moe
as an "it" rather than a "him" or "her" to seal confidentiality- got
itself into a bind. It was taking an architecture class that required
it to keep a daily log of artwork that was to accumulate for the
duration of the semester. Moe was doing well in class and had a healthy
amount of work in it's notebook. The professor- we will call him (or
her) Juannita (for confidentiality too)- was reviewing the notebooks on
a bi-weekly basis. After fall break, Moe went to grab its note book
from the car and realized that it was missing! Moe didn't know what to
do!! The notebook was worth 50% of Moe's final grade in the class!! So, Moe went to Juannita and said,
"Professor, my note book... (by this point Moe was balancing the options:
1. tell the professor the truth, and risk failing the class...
2. tell the professor some "slight" offset from the truth that makes
the situation seem like it's wasn't Moe's fault, and risk failing the
class less (actually Moe would fail the class even more because in
statistics you learn that she doubled her chances by adding another
broken rule to the table- but for the purposes of this story we will
leave it to "less"))
...Moe paused... was in the car when it was STOLEN!!!... and Moe started to cry..."
<Juannita> "I am so sorry to hear that! You don't have to worry
about it, just keep up with the class from here on out. And I will need
to see a copy of the police report."
<Moe> "oh, thank you profe.. (police report? PANIC PANIC) yeah... ok... I'll drop it by."
Later that night, as Moe was unveiling the plight to me over some wings
at R Thomas, my favorite waiter came up to flirt with me... Moe and I
were being silly and I decided to see the waiters opinion of the
situation. As I suspected the waiter suggested carrying on with the
charade, because at this point Moe was either going to get in trouble
being caught, get in trouble turning itself in, or carry it all out
beatifully. He did however, suggest something I didn't think of: to go
to the police station and ask them to give Moe a blank report. He
wasn't suggesting telling the police that Moe's car was stolen, but
rather informing them of the exact situation and asking them for aid. I
found it brilliant.
Moe didn't. Moe was flighty... I had to put my debate skills to the
test and come up with a perfect script for Moe's performance...
something like,
"Sir, I am a graduating senior on the
Dean's list at Georgia Institute of Technology. I made a horrible
mistake this semester and I was wondering if you could help me. I am
taking a class with a really tough professor- one of the worst I have
had- and he requires that I keep a notebook of my work thoughout the
year. Now, I have been dilligently keeping up with the notebook as it
it 50% of my final grade. But I was careless and stupid and I have
mis-placed it. I went to talk to the professor, Juannita, but he told
me not to come back to class unless my car was stolen or someone in my
family had died. So, I did a bad thing because I panicked and didn't
know what else to do- Sir, I have never gotten a B in a course before
(begin tear shedding now) so I can't even begin to imagine what it will
be like telling my parents over Christmas that I FAILED a class (full
sobbing initiated). I told the professor that my car was stollen! AND
NOW JUANNITA WANT'S A POLICE REPORT!!!! (uncontrolable shaking... head
in hands)."
As I comforted Moe, telling it that
you can't go to prison for lying to a police officer on the way to the
"Mid Town Blue" (as our local police station is called), Moe decided
that I needed to come too. Alas, if not for anything better than a few
laughs I did. And, as I expected Moe was brilliant. The young officer
lass didn't know what to do with him self. By the time Moe was done I
believe that even he had a tear in his eye. But the jist of the story
is that now we both have blank police report- given to us to help get
out of a lie in school. HA!
| | |
| So, I am sitting here- at work- with my good friend Cindy. We all know her, I write about her often. This is no exception.
We are supposed to be doing homework
together; that is why she is here. However, it is awkward because there
is a memorial service going on in the next room for a girl named Julie.
<Cindy> "It's weird that they put a funeral in the Success Center"
<Lynn> "It's a memorial service, not a funeral"
<Cindy> "Sooo... does that mean that we get free food?"
Do you see what I deal with...
<Cindy> "What? It's a valid question!"
| | |
| So, I went to see the new Harry
Potter movie last night. During which I had a complete paradigm shift.
I realized that I am a total push-over.
I was in the middle of studio stuff and Cindy called.
<Cindy> "Hey Lynn... you want to come eat with me and the geeks at Atlantic Station?"
<Lynn> "Actually, I already ate, and I am in the middle of my studio stuff; but thanks!"
<Cindy> "Awww, you could just sit with us and have fun; besides it's Friday night you don;t want to be in studio!"
<Lynn> "umm... ok, pick me up in ten.. "
Then, we ended up going to Apres Dium instead of Atlantic Station, while we are there Cindy wants to go see Harry Potter.
<Cindy> "Let's go see Harry Potter, look their is a show at 10:30!"
<Lynn> "But I have to get back to studio... and it's just now 7:30"
<Cindy> "oh, come on we'll get dessert and time will fly."
<Lynn> "umm... ok"
Then, we are at Apres Dium waiting for the movie to start and somehow I ended up spending 45.00$ on beer and food!
After the movie,
<Lynn> "I need to get back to studio"
<Brenden> "Oh, you can't leave
now. Come over to my house and drink with us. You can invite your
boy friends from the dorm."
<Lynn> "I don't know, some of them are creepy... and I've already wasted 5 hours."
<Brenden> "Oh, come on... it'll be fun."
<Lynn> "umm... ok."
No wonder my grades suck.... I even do it to myself:
Early this morning:
<Lynn 1> "You should get up and do the studio work you were supposed to do last night!"
<Lynn 2> "no, you should stay in be until your ass hurts from being in one spot for so long."
(Lynn 2 won)
Then, I finally get up at 3pm:
<Lynn 1> "you should get up, shower, and finish studying statics so you don't fail your test."
<Lynn 2> "no, you should go
down stairs and make breakfast and then watch the last Harry Potter
movie so you can stay up on all the hype today."
(Lynn 2 won)
Harry Potter is over:
<Lynn 1> "you should really go to studio"
<Lynn 2> "you should type all your shit on xanga and wast more time by taking a long shower... "
(you can guess who won)
| | |
| Old story but still deserves to be told:
So, Ricky (just started dating at the
time) and I were having lunch at Java Jive. We had ordered challah
french toast as an appatizer but it didn't come out until after the
meal. So, as we are finishing up I dipped my fork int othe syrup and
tried the first bite.
<Ricky> "How is it?"
<Lynn> "It's great, but slightly tough. It's Challah bread which is supposed to be that way."
<Ricky> "Good, but it's pronounced 'Ha-lah'."
<Lynn> "No, it's pronounced 'Cha-lah'."
<Ricky> "No, it's 'HA-LAH'."
<Lynn> "NO, it's 'CHA-LAH'; I
know I lived with three jewish people last semester." (contently smug
with my defense and waiting for his appoplogy)
<Ricky> "Lynn, I'm Jewish."
<Lynn> 
| | |
| Jennifer on women drivers:
It's so sad that the vagina seems to inhibit our ability to steer a car.
Cindy and Lynn convo:
<Lynn> "I hate when women play
like they are in trouble.. like hurt, or sick, or sad, just so guys
will give them attention."
<Cindy> "definately"
<Lynn> "I mean women don't
treat men like that. If a man came up to a woman and was babyy-acting
the girl would probably leave the room and throw up."
<Cindy> "I would"
<Lynn> "I think it is a survival thing. Like, 'only the strong survive thing'... even a Darwinian fitness type of thing."
<Cindy> "uhhhhhh...(looks at me weirdly)"
<Lynn> "Yeah, I mean think
about it. Women can only handle like two young at a time, so they have
to let the weak ones die off..."
<Cindy> "Lynn, your never having children."
<Lynn> "What! (appauled look)"
<Cindy> "you would SO favor the pretty one and the ugly one would have to fend for itself."
<Lynn> "I fail to see your point..."
<Cindy> "Your children would hate you!"
<Lynn> "No, just one would hate me  "
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